Talk To Your Friends: Cancer is scary and a lot of people simply don’t know how to talk about it eloquently. Your friends may want to ask you how your mother is doing, but may be afraid to bring up a painful subject. Help them out by telling them how they can support you. If you need to talk, cry and process, be honest about that. If you need a night at the movies free of cancer-talk, you can say that too. These sorts of life experiences and difficulties don’t come with an instruction booklet - think about what will help you most and then state it.
Reconcile: Not everyone can boast an ideal relationship with his or her mother. If you carry anger or ill will towards your mom that stem from the past, it will make dealing with her cancer diagnosis all the more challenging. Sweeping past wrongs and hurts under the rug only complicates the issue - this is the time to begin to address them. Save yourself the emotional strain and potential guilt of never having made things right. Seek therapy if the issues are too painful to deal with on your own. But if you are feeling them, imagine that your mother is as well. Whether your mother’s cancer is treatable or too aggressive to treat, you both owe it to yourselves to get it all out and reconcile the past.
Get Close: As frightening and uncomfortable as it can be to see you mother in such a vulnerable state, you will grow a lot as an individual when you let yourself be a part of your mother’s cancer journey. Offer to go with her to a chemotherapy appointment, help her pick out a wig, ask her about her feelings and her fears. Cancer brings a lot of shocking and painful realities, but allowing yourself to be vulnerable right along with your mom will be a powerful experience for both of you.
Support the Cause: Getting active in the fight against breast cancer gives meaning and purpose to the trial and suffering you are going through. If you love running and think you would love to combine your athletic prowess with your drive to give back, The Susan G. Komen Foundation and Race for the Cure, get people together for the common cause of supporting each other and raising funds to find a cure for breast cancer. If running isn’t your thing, consider doing the The Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure. This incredibly emotional event will have you walking 60 miles over three days with thousands of other men and women. If you know someone who is walking or running in either event, ask how you can help his or her endeavors. Ask also whether he or she will walk “in honor of” your mother. It is impossible to ask that question and fight back the tears.
Tell Her You Love Her: As much as we want to search for the perfect words, sometimes there aren’t any. Remind her you love her as often as you can. Those three little words are gold in a mother’s ear and are more important than ever for her to hear. Don’t let another day go by without telling her.
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